mastodon.world is one of the many independent Mastodon servers you can use to participate in the fediverse.
Generic Mastodon server for anyone to use.

Server stats:

13K
active users

I took my kids to school this morning - and somehow managed to lose my car keys.

I drive a Renault and so I was both delighted and appalled that even without the keys I was able to get in the car and drive it home.

David Njoku

Dear reader, they were in my pocket all along.

I repeat: my car keys were in my pocket.

And there I was searching through piles of soggy leaves, reaching into bins, feeling among the bags of dog shit, attracting weird looks from passersby.

All the while, the keys were in my pocket.

If anyone's looking for me, I'll be over in the corner dying of shame.

@davidnjoku A direct relative of mine that Shall Not Be Named once asked me to hand over a backpack containing a phone .. while holding that phone on the hand. On the very hand used to point at the backpack that I was holding.

@albertcardona I'd pay good money right now to swap places with them

@davidnjoku
I was going to guess on the floor is the car.

@virtuous_sloth God looked down on me and thought, nah that's not embarrassing enough for this bozo

@davidnjoku When this happens the best thing you can do is blame CERN for fracturing the timeline.

@Meowthias Yup, I'm living in my own private multiverse

@davidnjoku I helped a friend look for his car keys all across campus once. Took us hours. Later, in frustration, I asked if he checked his ass.