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“How do you feel when you say that?”
“I’m surprised you said that out loud.”
“Did you mean for that to sound hurtful?”
“I’d like to understand what you meant by that.”
If you think of more, please share. Thank you. 
“How do you feel when you say that?”
“I’m surprised you said that out loud.”
“Did you mean for that to sound hurtful?”
“I’d like to understand what you meant by that.”
If you think of more, please share. Thank you.