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#clusterb
#MarcelProust is so #clusterb xD
Yet still awesome :)
As a writer!
(3/3) Nur dann können wir hoffen, diese verwirrende Realität, die wir selbst geschaffen haben, zu verstehen und vielleicht sogar zu transformieren. #GameTheorie #Hyperrealität #ClusterB
(2/2) As our world becomes increasingly 'cluster-B-ified' - marked by narcissism, manipulation and emotional volatility - the need to transcend surface-level thinking has never been greater. The true challenge lies in cultivating the cognitive flexibility to engage with multiple frames of reference simultaneously. Only then can we hope to make sense of - and perhaps even transform - this bewildering reality we've constructed. #GameTheory #Hyperreality #ClusterB
"The most powerful people, and notably the most monstrous, are not conspicuously intelligent, at least not in the sense measured by IQ...
Success in gaining power seems to depend instead on extreme Dark Tetrad traits (psychopathy, narcissism, machiavellianism, and sadism). That’s moral idiocy, not any sort of intelligence. Maybe we should be more concerned with AI developing superhuman dark tetrad traits than superintelligence."
I've been trying to say this for so long. Glad to know the actual coiner of the term is on the same page as me
Also, can someone please help me write the alt text, it's a lot for me
#neurodivergent #autistic #adhd #epileptic #disability #disabled #bipolar #aspd #osdd #dissociativeidentitydisorder #dyslexia #learningdisability #mentalillness #ptsd #anxiety #depression #cerebralpalsy #downsyndrome #clusterb #schizophrenia #ocd
#NarcissistDictionary: #Empath
Urban Dictionary says, "Probable #narcissist who mistakes #hypervigilance and #projection resulting from
early childhood #trauma for a Trekkie superpower. Will spend more time
telling you how they think you feel than actually listening to your problems,
yet believes themselves to be a healer of sorts."
To the Urban Dictionary definition, I would add "probable narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic, #psychopath or some other combination of the #ClusterB variety pack. And while I'm at it, let's discuss #NarcissisticAbuse.
"Narcissistic abuse" is one of those terms like "empath," that proliferates YouTube and the rest of the narco-sphere. Abuse is abuse. When it comes to intimate partner abuse, child abuse, workplace bullying, etc., narcissists are just one of the usual suspects.
Are all people who perpetrate abuse narcissists? No. Again, the usual suspects include the narcissist, borderline, #histrionic, psychopath, #paranoid and #dependent personality disorders. These are also the folks at the root of most high conflict divorce and custody litigation.
Regardless of the actual clinical diagnoses of the abuser, abuse is, in and of itself, narcissistic.
Abusers have no empathy for their victims. In fact, they have contempt for anyone who allows themself to become a preferred target or doormat. They don't feel bad if they hurt you, because their intention is to hurt you.
Abusers blame others -- usually their victims -- for their abusive behavior. And, if you try to hold them accountable or expose their abuse, they play victim and abuse you harder. Some borderliners argue that they can't be abusive; only narcissists can be abusive.
This is ridiculous.
For example, #NPD wife and #BPD wife assault their respective husbands. Why? Because they're triggered for some reason, and, using Cluster B "logic," their husbands deserve it.
According to many BPDs, however, it's only abusive if NPD wife assaults her husband. Alternately, it's not abusive if BPD wife assaults her husband. It's the BPD who's suffering, not the husband that they bit, kicked and scratched up.
This is nuts.
A BPD diagnosis doesn't magically render abusive acts not abusive. Some borderlines (diagnosed and undiagnosed) believe they're empaths. An empath is someone who supposedly has superhuman empathy.
Self-identifying empaths claim they can feel the world's pain and suffering so acutely that it "makes them" hurt others. That's right. Other people's pain makes the borderline react with anger and sometimes violence because of their massive empathy. In Objective Reality Land, this is the OPPOSITE of empathy.
Like I said, it's nucking futs.
#NarcissistDictionary: “I hate you!!!”
When a #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic or other #ClusterB variety pack says, "I love you" it doesn't mean "I love you" the way it does to a normal or a #codependent. Their declarations of love are intense, but superficial. “I love you means” they see you as all good in that moment.
A #NPD, #BPD or #HPD loves you when you make them feel good about themselves. They love you when they're getting everything they want. This is the pleasurable side of splitting.
.
#Narcissists, #borderlines and #histrionics love the way toddlers and teens love. Their construct of you is dependent on their immediate ego and feelings states. This is why you can be their soulmate on Monday and by Thursday they’re sharing photos of themselves with their newest soulmate.
Just like kids often have a new #FavoritePerson every few months. The instant there's a disappointment, frustration or a new shiny object they drop their best friend.
.
Alternately, "I hate you" actually means they hate you. Ultimately, narcissists hate everyone and respect no one. They hate you because:
• You see their limitations, flaws and pathology.
• You told them no.
• You held them accountable for lying or cruel behavior.
• You're not okay with their cheating.
• You don’t #enable them anymore.
• They can’t possess your goodness and talent.
• You didn't buy them a pony.
What does love mean to you? Does it mean suffering abuse to prove you're a good and loyal person? Does it mean allowing someone to hurt you in the hopes that they'll love you? What's your half of the equation?
If you’re confused because they ping pong between loving you and hating you, then be confused no more. These individuals are incapable of enduring mature adult love.
#NarcissistDictionary" "You're an emotionless robot!"
Of course, you're not really an emotionless robot. If a #narcissist, #borderline or #histrionic partner or ex has ever accused you of being a robot it likely means that:
a) You’ve stopped telling the #NPD, #BPD or #HPD your
thoughts and feelings, because they weaponize them against you.
b) You’ve emotionally
detached and walk away from their #ClusterB threats, tantrums, rages, name-calling and victim playing.
c) You're freezing as a defense mechanism (i.e., fight, flight, freeze or fawn).
Relationships with #narcissists, #histrionics and #borderlines eventually devolve into an endless series of no-win situations, which can instill learned helplessness then despair.
You have emotions, but you've stopped sharing them because it isn't safe. Detachment is healthy in the face of repetitive, relentless pointless conflict. The healthiest choice would be to end the relationship and have friendships with people who don't mistreat and abuse you.
Ideally, detachment and disengagement is a temporary coping strategy while planning your exit. Long-term it's no way to live.
#Narcissists, #borderlines, #histrionics and the rest of the #ClusterB variety pack can be quite the historical revisionists. Yes, they're #PathologicalLiars in matters consequential and inconsequential. When they rewrite history, however, they almost uniformly transform themselves into innocent, rosy-smelling victims and portray their actual victims as villains.
Typically, they do this via a combination of #gaslighting, #projection, #DARVO, blatant lies, half-truths, distortions and reality TV quality acting. Even when the facts eventually come to light, they shamelessly deny, lie, cry, tantrum and obfuscate with #WordSalad.
While I understand this phenomenon in terms of their characterological pathology, I never cease to be amazed by their refusal to take #accountability especially once they’re fully exposed.
You've got video, audio or emails that prove the #narcissist, #borderline or #histrionic partner’s or ex's lies and abuses? Spplffft! It doesn’t matter as far as the #NPD, #BPD or #HPD is concerned. They just tell more lies and play victim harder.
What they said or did last week, yesterday or two minutes ago is meaningless. They shake their Magic Victim 8 Ball and poof! It's time for freshly excreted self-serving lies.
They cry, pitch a tantrum, rage, pout and blithely ignore being fact-checked. They brazenly insist on their newest lies, distortions and false narratives and continue to deny, lie, gaslight and contradict themselves and anyone willing to listen to ever growing mountain of manure.
Then, when you point out the most recent pile of steaming, blatant BS, they're the victim and you're the asshole.
Narcissists, histrionics, psychopaths and borderlines don't see their cruelty, self-absorption, pathological lying and entitlement as bad. You deserve it. You make them do it. For that matter, anyone who holds them accountable is a bad, nasty person who's abusing them/victimizing them. It's completely backasswards.
Again, this is pure BS. The bad behavior is bad, not pointing out the bad behavior.
There’s really no difference between the #LoveBombing pedestal (#idealization) and the it’s all your fault POS status (#devaluation). While one feels better than the other, both are equally meaningless. They’re just different versions of the same #manipulation. The carrot and the stick are one and the same to the #codependent #PeoplePleaser.
Meaning, both conditions can’t simultaneously be true. You can’t be the most amazing, special-est man/woman ever and the most horrible person ever. Especially when a #borderline, #narcissist or #histrionic partner vacillates between the two extremes multiple times within the same hour.
But which one is true? Again, neither.
So many clients are easily manipulated by the mercurial opinion of their #BPD, #NPD or #HPD partner. It's the reason they walk on eggshells. #ClusterB #PersonalityDisorder-ed people don’t have a cohesive, stable sense of themselves (i.e., #construct). Hence their rage and perceived #victimhood at the smallest and/or imaginary slight or criticism. As such, their construct of other people – including you -- is similarly unstable.
“You bought me a new car!!! Yay!!! I love you!!! Thank you, daddy!!!! Best daddy ever!!!!!”
“You won’t let me have a third cookie!!!! Mean mommy!!! I hate you!!!!!”
Therefore, any approval from a BPD, HPD or NPD person is meaningless if it can change on a dime. This becomes a manipulation tactic once they figure out the power they can wield by alternating withholding love or blowing smoke up your butt (i.e., variable ratio reinforcement schedule).
It’s all the same to them.
In my experience, these individuals enjoy being cruel more and resent having to love bomb or #Hoover. The overt cruelty is more enjoyable because of the contempt they feel for you for tolerating their abuse. I also suspect it makes them feel more powerful when their victim grovels for love. Contemptuous and powerful.
Furthermore, healthy adults don't change their opinion of you just because they occasionally feel irritated, hurt or disappointed by you. In fact, healthy adults can still love and respect their partner even when they’re super angry with them. And can do so without engaging in wanton cruelty or childish nonsense. Imagine that!
If you're still trying to make it work with a disordered partner because you don't think you can live without their approval, please understand that for which you’re tolerating abuse IS NOT REAL. It’s your codependency and need for external validation from someone who'll never be capable of giving it to you that's real. They'll continue to exploit your vulnerabilities and abuse you for as long as you're willing to suffer it and them.
Goedemorgen
Gisteren ontzettende fijne acteerklus gedaan en dat online. #Psychopathologie De-escalatie #ClusterB Vandaag naar Ams
@HermanPKoerts
voor montage van #HetPatriarchaat #Regie. Ik ben dankbaar voor m'n mooie werk! Mooie dag lieve mensen met, als kan, blijdschap 
en stay safe.
#TTRPG #Queer #MentallyIll #ClusterB
I'm putting together a safe space TTRPG server for queer and mentally ill people who struggle with fitting in in more mainstream environments for a variety of space. Transparently, this is a way for me to make a safe space to meet new people and it's kind of a general nerdspace but all who are willing to keep it safe.
Boost if you're interested! I'll link it in reply to this when i feel it's set up enough.
Goedemorgen Vandaag meerdere korte voorstellingen spelen op congres #Ouderenpsychiatrie Onderwerpen #Schizofrenie #ClusterB #BorderlinePS #NarcistischePS #Depressie #MooiWerk Heel veel zin in! Mooie dag lieve mensen met, als kan, en stay safe.
#NarcissistDictionary: Strategic or Weaponized #Incompetence
Or, what I’ve long referred to as playing dumb and/or deliberately screwing up tasks in order to get out of doing them in the future. Typically utilized by the #DamselinDistress or #DudeInDistress, the #ClusterB variety pack, the #ProfessionalVictim and the #PassivAggressive. (*These groups are not mutually exclusive.)
We’re all human. We all make mistakes. What matters is that we take ownership of our blunders and f—k-ups, apologize, fix it (if possible) and make an honest effort to be more careful in the future. Furthermore, many people have individual particular preferences that, when we share a space with others, we may need to accept won’t always be accommodated.
For example, toilet paper flap goes over not under. Small logs on top and bigger logs on the bottom of the firewood stack. Perfectly folded fitted sheets.
Strategic or weaponized incompetence is repetitive carelessness, damage and destruction of your property and the foisting of one’s share of responsibilities at work or at home. It’s a behavior pattern that repeatedly occurs over time. Generally, it doesn’t get better because it’s not an anomalous unintentional screw-up. It’s an intentional tactic serving to reduce the effort they put into the relationship that requires you to contribute more.
Ever wonder why relationships with these types are so exhausting? I mean, beside the #drama, pointless circular arguments, absence of formal logic and other crazy-making irrationalities and abuse?
Because these individuals dump the as much of their adult responsibility onto their partners, kids, colleagues and other #enablers as they can get away with.
If or when you finally express frustration or the tiniest bit of criticism, the #narcissist, #borderline or #histrionic will:
a) #PlayVictim. “Why are you being so mean?!?! It’s not like I do these things on purpose!!”
b) Attack and What About. “Oh, like you’re Mr./Ms. Perfect!? Like you never screw up!?!?! What about the [one time you made an honest mistake, apologized and corrected the mistake that the #NPD, #BPD or #HPD holds over you in perpetuity]?!?!?!?!”
c) Martyr mode. “I can’t do anything right. You must be so sick of me. I’m so stupid. I bet you hate me now. Boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo hoo hoo.”
d) Minimize and dismiss. “You’re such a perfectionist! Why do you always have to make a mountain out of a molehill? You’re soooooo sensitive. If you’re so unhappy with how I do things, why don’t you do it yourself?!”
e) Rage.
f) All of the above.
You can begin cooking, cleaning up, etc., only for yourself. However, don’t be surprised if their clutter stacks become high rises and their bathroom sink becomes caked with toothpaste, shaved hairs and other nastiness. This measure isn’t possible if you share kids with them, of course.
Mature adults and good partners don’t dump their share of household responsibility onto the other partner. If your girlfriend, wife, boyfriend or husband engages in strategic incompetence, I wager it isn’t their only selfish, immature, exploitative and shitty behavior. Do you really want to live with this?
[*The earliest use I can find for the term Strategic incompetence is by Robert Sutton, PhD author of "The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't, which is a really good book!]
Goedemorgen Vandaag spelen in training #Persoonlijkheidsproblematiek #ClusterB #Borderline #Narcisme #Trainingsacteren Mooie dag lieve mensen met, als kan, en stay safe. 
