Nic<p>The other day I held the door open for a clown - it was a nice jester</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/jokeoftheday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokeoftheday</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/dadjoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjoke</span></a></p>
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#jokeoftheday
15 posts · 14 participants · 0 posts today
weirdjokes<p>Condoms don't always guarantee safe sex.<br />A buddy of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>DadJokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Puns" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Puns</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Memes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Memes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Comedy" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Comedy</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Laugh" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Laugh</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Smile" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Smile</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Sarcasm" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Sarcasm</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Irony" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Irony</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Humor</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Funny</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/LOL" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>LOL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/ROFL" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>ROFL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Hilarious" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Hilarious</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Prank" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Prank</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a><br />👍<br />Hot Jokes<br /><a href="https://weird-jokes.com/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">weird-jokes.com/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
weirdjokes<p>It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>DadJokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Puns" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Puns</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Memes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Memes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Comedy" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Comedy</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Laugh" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Laugh</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Smile" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Smile</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Sarcasm" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Sarcasm</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Irony" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Irony</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Humor</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Funny</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/LOL" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>LOL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/ROFL" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>ROFL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Hilarious" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Hilarious</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Prank" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Prank</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a><br />👍<br />Hot Jokes<br /><a href="https://weird-jokes.com/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">weird-jokes.com/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
weirdjokes<p>Not to brag, but I just got hired as a fitness model.</p><p>They used me as the "before" picture.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/DadJokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>DadJokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Puns" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Puns</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Memes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Memes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Comedy" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Comedy</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Laugh" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Laugh</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Smile" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Smile</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Sarcasm" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Sarcasm</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Irony" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Irony</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Humor</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Funny</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/LOL" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>LOL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/ROFL" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>ROFL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Hilarious" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Hilarious</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Prank" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Prank</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a><br />👍<br />Hot Jokes<br /><a href="https://weird-jokes.com/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">weird-jokes.com/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
Nic<p>No matter how much you push the envelope - it’ll still be stationery</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/jokeoftheday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokeoftheday</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/dadjoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjoke</span></a></p>
Superdave! (He/Him/His)<p>The CEO of IKEA just got elected Prime Minister of Sweden. He is assembling his cabinet. <a href="https://queer.cool/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a></p>
weirdjokes<p>I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said 'do you mind if I put some music on?' <br />I said 'Not at all' <br />He said 'Kiss?' <br />I said 'Let's listen to the music first and see how we feel'</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Puns" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Puns</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Memes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Memes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Comedy" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Comedy</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Laugh" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Laugh</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Smile" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Smile</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Sarcasm" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Sarcasm</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Irony" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Irony</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Humor</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Funny</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/LOL" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>LOL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/ROFL" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>ROFL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Hilarious" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Hilarious</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Prank" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Prank</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a><br />👍<br />Hot Jokes<br /><a href="https://weird-jokes.com/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">weird-jokes.com/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
Nic<p>Whoever invented “Knock Knock” jokes should get a No-Bell prize</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/jokeoftheday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokeoftheday</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/hearditbefore" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>hearditbefore</span></a></p>
Superdave! (He/Him/His)<p>What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just let out a little wine. <a href="https://queer.cool/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a></p>
Nic<p>I put my grandma on speed dial - now that’s what I call Instagran!</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/jokeoftheday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokeoftheday</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a></p>
weirdjokes<p><a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Jokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Jokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Puns" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Puns</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Memes" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Memes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Comedy" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Comedy</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Laugh" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Laugh</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Smile" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Smile</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Sarcasm" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Sarcasm</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Irony" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Irony</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Humor</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Funny" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Funny</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/LOL" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>LOL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/ROFL" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>ROFL</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Hilarious" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Hilarious</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/Prank" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Prank</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.world/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a><br />👍<br />Hot Jokes<br /><a href="https://weird-jokes.com/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" translate="no"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">weird-jokes.com/</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
Players' Patchwork Theatre Co<p>Join our {definitely-a-real-human} character Chest E. Cognito for some more humor in today's Mimic Mirth!</p><p><a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/Improv" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Improv</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/Improvisation" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Improvisation</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/Theater" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Theater</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/Farce" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Farce</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/Games" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Games</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/RPG" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>RPG</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/DnD" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DnD</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/DungeonsAndDragons" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DungeonsAndDragons</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/Mimic" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>Mimic</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a> <a href="https://universeodon.com/tags/DadJoke" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>DadJoke</span></a></p>
Superdave! (He/Him/His)<p>When I was a kid, Mom used to tell me not to play with my food. Remind me, who pretended my food was an airplane? <a href="https://queer.cool/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a></p>
Nic<p>My child refuses to eat meat. What can I replace it with?<br>A dog. Dogs love meat!</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/jokeoftheday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokeoftheday</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a></p>
Nic<p>www.conjunctivitis.com - now there’s a site for sore eyes</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/jokeoftheday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokeoftheday</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a></p>
Superdave! (He/Him/His)<p>Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. Bartender asks, "Olive or twist"? <a href="https://queer.cool/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a> One of the better ones! <a href="https://queer.cool/tags/today" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>today</span></a></p>
Nic<p>Did you know that having pet fish in a home aquarium can reduce stress levels?<br>It’s all down to the indoor fins.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/jokeoftheday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokeoftheday</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/hearditbefore" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>hearditbefore</span></a></p>
Nic<p>My local football team have just turned down a £40m sponsorship deal from a major dogfood manufacturer.<br>A club spokesman said that having “Winalot” across the team shirts would just be taking the piss.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/jokeoftheday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokeoftheday</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a></p>
Nic<p>My friend tried to take a photo of themselves in the shower but it came out blurry.<br>I think he has selfie steam issues.</p><p><a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/jokeoftheday" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>jokeoftheday</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.art/tags/dadjokes" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>dadjokes</span></a></p>
Superdave! (He/Him/His)<p><a href="https://queer.cool/tags/today" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>today</span></a> is a good one for a Polyphonic Spree! Happy Bach Day! 🎉🥳🙌🙌🙌 Are you subject to fugue states, like I am? I heard the <a href="https://queer.cool/tags/JokeOfTheDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#<span>JokeOfTheDay</span></a> bud cannot recall it.</p>
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