Hi, All!

I wonder if you would be willing to share any insights or experiences you might have navigating the following (boosts appreciated)

1. #Codependence / enmeshment within a romantic partnership and the resulting loss of self / self knowledge / being in touch with your own desires

2. Navigating partnership in which one person is dealing with chronic #disability

Thanks!
#askFedi

Kinda hard to believe that my #family tried flinging me off like a booger and crucified me, but yet, here I am. Looking hot, doing better, going forward. You can't kill me. I'm immortal. And the harder you try, the stronger I become. Being ME. Once you escape #codependence, it is....#freedom!!! It's hard. I'm on probation because I was desperate. But once it happens, it's so wonderful. The gods will provide! #mentalhealth #ptsd

The Silver Lining | Whitney Cummings & Chris Williamson

The 3 P's | Whitney Cummings

Can anyone recommend any books on #codependency / #codependence that don't mention the 12 Steps, God, or a higher power?

It doesn't feel like it should be a big ask, but every list I can find has this one book at the top that opens with a Bible quote... :D

This afternoon, I have been researching #codependence, #domesticviolence, #substanceabuse, and what constitutes stalking in the state of California. My heart is completely shattered.I have also been looking into #burnerphones.

I can also include #homophobia, #bankruptcy and #borderlinepersonalitydisorder, but I am trying to keep things simple right now.

Is #Marriage Worth It?
Can long-term #do more harm than good? Where is the line between #intimacy and #codependence?

https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5zaW1wbGVjYXN0LmNvbS9kZmhfdmVyVg/episode/YmE0MzUwZjgtMzFiYS00MjdkLWI0ZmUtYTVmZGUxNGY1M2Fl?sa=X&ved=0CKkCEM-BB2oXChMImMin0obQggMVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAE

Sorry, this is paywalled content.

This describes both of my #EggshellParents and my childhood, along with #alcoholism (dad) and #codependence (mom, me).

I barely made it out alive, and didn't escape its destructive effects until my #marriage blew up and brought everything I'd repressed to a roiling boil.

#AdultChildrenOfAlcoholicsAndDysfunctionalFamilies #ACA saved my life in 2012 https://adultchildren.org/

https://www.stylist.co.uk/relationships/family-friends/eggshell-parents/789578

https://apple.news/AE3NOPEQESbaK6M_ajthsiA

PSA: Never attempt face-to-face breakup with #AI chatbot. #Bing #Microsoft #Codependence

Dr. Stan #Tatkin: “The purpose of a relationship is fundamentally grounded in safety and security: not love, not attraction, not romance. If you’re not providing that need to ensure each other’s sense of #safety and #security, it defies the whole psychobiological purpose of being with another person.”
⸺
#quotes #assertive #positive #self #selfStudy #learning #learn #joy #disappoint #couple #intimate #relationship #relationships #friendship #support #empathy #protection #codependence #concern

Anne #Lamott: “We can’t arrange peace or lasting improvement for the people we love most in the world. […] Help is the sunny side of #control. Stop helping so much. Don’t get your help and #goodness all over everybody.”
https://www.ted.com/talks/anne_lamott_12_truths_i_learned_from_life_and_writing/transcript?language=en&subtitle=en #people #relationships #friendship #support #empathy #protection #codependence #benevolence #kindness #addiction #simpleEnglish #mentalHealth

Reading #relationship books written for “#normals” when your partner
has a #ClusterB #PersonalityDisorder is like reading a how to build a birdhouse
manual in order to learn how to swim safely with sharks.

In other words, it's not going to help.

A relationship with a #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic or Cluster B variety pack isn't dysfunctional and toxic due to the issues non-disordered people have in relationships. The problems aren't due to deficient #CommunicationSkills. Nor is because you don't "speak their #LoveLanguage." And it isn't because you're from Mars/Venus and they're from Uranus -- or whatever not take #responsibility-#BlameShifting-#DARVO bullshit excuse they concoct.

It's because they have an un/diagnosed personality disorder. Their love language is Crazy. They lack the fundamental emotional and psychological capacity to have a healthy and reciprocal emotionally mature relationship built upon mutual respect and empathy.

Furthermore, being more empathic, patient and "loving them harder" isn't going to help you either. That advice results in more #enabling, #codependence and #TraumaBonding -- not more love.

Again, the real issues are the #NPD, #BPD, #HPD character pathology, which can't be fixed. And your #codependency, #peoplepleasing, #traumahealing, etc., which you can work on.

If you want to learn how to have healthier relationships, read about how to best protect yourself from emotionally manipulative liars/predators and how to address your codependency and family of origin issues because nothing else is going to work.

Co-Dependence Anonymous: Recovery Patterns of #Codependence [pdf]

https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/2011-Patterns-of-Recovery-2015.pdf