# orderedItems[].object.content
I lost my balance one time and sat hard on an oak coffee table crushing a box of Kleenex.

Suffered only soft tissue damage

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I lost my balance one time and sat hard on an oak coffee table crushing a box of Kleenex.

Suffered only soft tissue damage

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Consider just letting your phone battery go dead becau

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Consider just letting your phone battery go dead becau

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One election year I was so disenchanted with the presidential candidates that I wrote in Snoopy as my selection because...you know...military service

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One election year I was so disenchanted with the presidential candidates that I wrote in Snoopy as my selection because...you know...military service

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The worst part about adulthood is having to hire kids to pull fire alarms because you run too slow to make clean getaways

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The worst part about adulthood is having to hire kids to pull fire alarms because you run too slow to make clean getaways

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@notfunnyelle@mstdn.social zombies are stupid. They may actually believe they are breaking open coconuts

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@notfunnyelle@mstdn.social zombies are stupid. They may actually believe they are breaking open coconuts

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BREAKING:

Twitter. Twitter is breaking.

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BREAKING:

Twitter. Twitter is breaking.

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I had a really bad tooth ache one time but it turned out to be a divorce

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I had a really bad tooth ache one time but it turned out to be a divorce