Diary for my beloved<p><strong>Stress between Cafcass interviews</strong></p><p>I’m writing this in a moment between <a href="https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Cafcass</a> meetings. I spoke with the case officer on Monday, and your mum will speak to her next week.</p><p>I’ve struggled to keep a record here for you as so many moments are sad and hopeless. I have lots of notes in drafts, waiting to be revised before I save, but the pain of recalling those moments has been too difficult and I avoid going back to them to avoid provoking more sadness. Ultimately, I want to keep a record for you, so I’ll work it out.</p><p>This relentless situation means I’ve got to make the most of what we have.</p><p>Your mom continues to fight against me, against us being a family where I have equal responsibility, time and care for you. She doesn’t want me involved and I’ve been fighting just to be able to see you more than once a week. It hurts me so much that we barely have 5 hours together on a Sunday and many of those are cancelled anyway.</p><p><strong>Staying in your memories</strong></p><p>I’m terrified you don’t know who I am right now. What if you don’t see that I’m your loving dad who will always love and care for you.</p><p>I got a bit of hope because you can understand and remember little things. Like on the weekend, when you knew where to get your plates and bib for lunch. It was a lovely surprise to get your help but most importantly for you to have remembered something about our time together.</p><p><strong>Missing so much</strong></p><p>Even with some positive signs, I live devastated that I can’t give you a bath at night or kiss in the morning.</p><p><strong>More hostilities to come</strong></p><p>Next week your mum will spew more hateful deceitful lies with the only one aim, to keep us apart.</p><p>I think about you every moment, even though it hurts.</p><p><strong>Listen through the podcast</strong></p><p></p><p></p> <p><span></span></p><p><a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/cafcass/" target="_blank">#Cafcass</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/court-case/" target="_blank">#courtCase</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/dad/" target="_blank">#dad</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/dad-life/" target="_blank">#dadLife</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/dad-time/" target="_blank">#dadTime</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/daddy-daughter/" target="_blank">#daddyDaughter</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/family/" target="_blank">#family</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/family-court/" target="_blank">#familyCourt</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/father-time/" target="_blank">#fatherTime</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/fathers-rights/" target="_blank">#fatherSRights</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/fatherhood/" target="_blank">#fatherhood</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/heartbreak/" target="_blank">#heartbreak</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/making-memories/" target="_blank">#makingMemories</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/parental-alienation/" target="_blank">#parentalAlienation</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/parenting/" target="_blank">#parenting</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/preparing-for-court/" target="_blank">#preparingForCourt</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/time-together/" target="_blank">#timeTogether</a></p>