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Diary for my belovedStress between Cafcass interviewsI’m writing this in a moment between <a href="https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Cafcass</a> meetings. I spoke with the case officer on Monday, and your mum will speak to her next week.I’ve struggled to keep a record here for you as so many moments are sad and hopeless. I have lots of notes in drafts, waiting to be revised before I save, but the pain of recalling those moments has been too difficult and I avoid going back to them to avoid provoking more sadness. Ultimately, I want to keep a record for you, so I’ll work it out.This relentless situation means I’ve got to make the most of what we have.Your mom continues to fight against me, against us being a family where I have equal responsibility, time and care for you. She doesn’t want me involved and I’ve been fighting just to be able to see you more than once a week. It hurts me so much that we barely have 5 hours together on a Sunday and many of those are cancelled anyway.Staying in your memoriesI’m terrified you don’t know who I am right now. What if you don’t see that I’m your loving dad who will always love and care for you.I got a bit of hope because you can understand and remember little things. Like on the weekend, when you knew where to get your plates and bib for lunch. It was a lovely surprise to get your help but most importantly for you to have remembered something about our time together.Missing so muchEven with some positive signs, I live devastated that I can’t give you a bath at night or kiss in the morning.More hostilities to comeNext week your mum will spew more hateful deceitful lies with the only one aim, to keep us apart.I think about you every moment, even though it hurts.Listen through the podcast <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/cafcass/" target="_blank">#Cafcass</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/court-case/" target="_blank">#courtCase</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/dad/" target="_blank">#dad</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/dad-life/" target="_blank">#dadLife</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/dad-time/" target="_blank">#dadTime</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/daddy-daughter/" target="_blank">#daddyDaughter</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/family/" target="_blank">#family</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/family-court/" target="_blank">#familyCourt</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/father-time/" target="_blank">#fatherTime</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/fathers-rights/" target="_blank">#fatherSRights</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/fatherhood/" target="_blank">#fatherhood</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/heartbreak/" target="_blank">#heartbreak</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/making-memories/" target="_blank">#makingMemories</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/parental-alienation/" target="_blank">#parentalAlienation</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/parenting/" target="_blank">#parenting</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/preparing-for-court/" target="_blank">#preparingForCourt</a> <a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" class="hashtag u-tag u-category" href="https://diaryformybeloved.wordpress.com/tag/time-together/" target="_blank">#timeTogether</a>

Writing BlindDate night with my wife. Very excited to get out of the house for a bit and just spend time alone together. Love this woman! <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/Date" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Date</a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/DateNight" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#DateNight</a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/AloneTime" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AloneTime</a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/Love" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Love</a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/TimeTogether" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#TimeTogether</a>

Amanda🐕‍🦺🐈🗾✊😏🫂☯️Gemeinsame Zeit verschenken , mein Motto dieses Jahr ! <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/weihnachten" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#weihnachten</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/timetogether" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#timetogether</a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/memories" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#memories</a>

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