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Do you understand how fast computers are?

https://shkspr.mobi/blog/2025/01/do-you-understand-how-fast-computers-are/

A million years ago, I was helping advise an analogue office who were thinking about making the great leap forward to the digital future. I was sat in the boss's office extolling the virtues of digitisation.

"How long does it take you to look up a file from your archives?" I asked, impudently.

"Let me show you," said the kindly old proprietor. A wizened man straight out of the pages of a Dickens novel. He pressed a switch on his (landline) phone. "Miss Moneypenny? Could you bring us, let's say, the file from Smith vs Jones in 1997? Thank you. Tea?" The last question was aimed at me. We chatted amiably while the tea was poured and, barely five minutes later, a slightly dusty Miss Moneypenny slid the file onto the desk.

"You see!" The old boy exclaimed, "How could a computer ever be faster than Miss Moneypenny?"

Writing in his book "Platformland", Richard Pope talks about how working with data gives one an appreciation of where it is fast and where it is slow:

It’s hard to appreciate the true nature, risks and opportunities of data, for example, without experiencing the feel of data in a database; the potential for its tables to join together that tugs at the edge of your mind; the intrinsic understanding of what is quick, what is messy and what is risky. If your mental model is a catalogue, or a filing system or a lake, then those things are lost, or at least diluted.

This is also explored in the seminal XKCD 1425.

The lightly fictionalised law firm boss had only dealt with slow computer systems. Grinding hard-disks powered by a 386 running a hookey copy of Windows were already faster than a sprightly secretary scrabbling around in the archives. But his experience of retrieving data, like most people's, was being on interminable hold to call centres, or being told that to expect a written reply in 28 working days, or that the hospital has lost their records. It is no wonder they distrusted digital filing.

As an experiment, download the complete works of Shakespeare in plain text format and then hit ctrl+F (or whatever search you want to use) and try to find the word "invocations". It will be instant. The file isn't a structured database but, in less than a second, you can find every instance of a word. Computers are fast.

And yet, think about every interaction you have with a computer in public? Ticket machines asthmatically wheeze as they slowly trick you into buying the most expensive option. Passing through an airport seems to involve waiting impatiently at a number of desks while arthritic mainframes slowly coalesce your data. Advertising screens stutter and jerk their way through low-framerate videos trying to sell you perfume. Every time you speak to a call centre, I guarantee someone says "sorry, my system's running slow today."

The perception is that most computers are slow.

Would a computerised system have made a difference to that company? Moneypenny would have gotten less dusty, but clients booked their appointments days in advance - so file-retrieval time wasn't critical. Backing up data, insuring its integrity, and keeping it confidential were all important - but digitisation also came with risks. Filing cabinets rarely get hacked and typewritten documents are unlikely to be encrypted by ransomware.

If you pay attention to the news, all you hear about is the times when data goes wrong. You never notice the times when things run smoothly, but you are painfully aware of every time a computer screws up.

It is no wonder that even the most basic efforts of digitisation are heavily resisted by those without empathy for what computers can do - and how fast they can work - when set up properly,